Okay, so the past few days I've been feeling kind of down and out. I realize that I'm truly running out of steam from not sleeping. I'm so happy that school is almost done for the year, and that my son will not have his crazy schedule until the Fall. That means I can finally relax a little and work on getting back on track. I'd like to start sleeping better - at least 6-8 hours, instead of this daily 4-5 hours...it's literally killing me!
Another thing that is really starting to get to me is the fact that I have put on some weight again. That's right, me the health advocate - raw foodist, yada-yada-yada...has put on the pounds. I finally weighed myself so I could have a true reality check. Guess what? OMG - I've gained enough to weigh in at 170 lbs. I am so upset with myself. The one thing I'm grateful for in all this is the fact that my weight is well distributed, so I don't look as heavy as I am - but I can feel it, and I am.
I haven't been doing my yoga in weeks, no sleep...although I've been eating plenty of fresh greens, veggies, and fruit, and having my daily smoothies - I've been cheating on processed organic chips, Ezekiel flour-less bread and tortillas, and the occasional offerings from coworkers (no meat - all vegan, but not the healthiest choice by my standards!) Basically I've been eating too much! So my digestive tract is a mess, I'm bloated, having IBS issues, pretty much all the symptons I so proudly rid myself of when I took the vow to be a healthy raw foodist back in 2007 are slowly finding their way back into my daily life - YIKES!!!!!!
I know, in addition to the lack of healthy habits these days...and again, I'm not eating meat, or processed canned or boxed foods...I'm eating too much, too many fats, sugars, (all natural or not), and eating too late! No exercise, no sleep, excessive stress - yes, lots of stress!
That was the other part of my reality check. I've been under an extreme amount of stress lately. Some is self-inflicted, while some of it is circumstantial. Regardless, I am out of WHACK! How can I possibly think I can coach others around me, if I can't even manage myself? Or perhaps that's exactly what I need to do...help coach another near to me, while empowering myself to also heal.
I know that part of my need to eat more is the lack of sleep and exercise. So obviously I need to get more rest. Part of not getting enough rest is the combination of circumstantial and self-inflicted stress. Time management, prioritizing what's important, and learning that I can only do so much. I can't be any help to others, if I can't help myself. I need to be healthy to be of service to others. So I definitely need some major rehab! Funny think about that...I am a member of a great "rehab" community, Raw Food Rehab - yet I haven't been very disciplined in making time to follow the recommendations and take the loving support available. I need to do so.
Here's my wish list for healing:
more sleep - at least 6 to 8 hours a night
more exercise - yoga at least 2-3 times a week, bike ride at least once a week, brisk walks at least 4-5 times a week
less non-raw treats (no more organic chips or flour-less Ezekiel breads, only splurge once a month)
less food per day - only eat when truly hungry, drink more of my food than eat it, minimize the raw treats, incorporate more mono raw foods for snacking, drink lots and lots and lots of water, don't eat after 7pm (dinner smoothie)
find ways to reduce circumstantial stress - get a second job to help reduce financial burdens, work on increasing revenue streams online through my site, and my books, reduce my footprint by finding more eco ways to service my family and myself, take time out for myself to relax and enjoy just being...
It may very well be that there is something else going on with me and my digestion. Anything I eat, anything, lately, has been making me immediately bloat. I feel like the food and drink is going in, but is stuck in a holding tank and won't pass through. I become constipated, and extremely uncomfortable and toxic - and this is eating fresh wholesome raw foods. Granite, the few cheats I've been doing, the lack of rest, and the amount of food will definitely cause these problems too. I just need to get back on track, and start healing again!
Here's an example of how uncomfortable I've been lately. I started this post last night, and now it's morning. The only thing I have put in my stomach so far is my lemon water with MSM. I'm not even done drinking it. My stomach is so swollen right now - seriously! I can't wait to pass whatever is stuck in my gut and making me feel this way. I need "liquid plumber"!
Well, the good news is today is Monday, and the beginning of the last week of school for my son. This means soon I will have an opportunity to start re-prioritizing my life and start healing. It's also a three-day weekend coming up - which is great for me too!
Obviously I'll keep you posted. But for now, that's it. Thank you for reading, and letting me vent. Have a terrific Monday, and a super happy and fulfilling week!!!